Yoga

I love yoga. Seriously, yoga is the first type of exercise that I have wanted to do, enjoyed doing, and been willing to get up at 4:30am in order to do before work.

I had done yoga off an on at my old gym before I had James, but it wasn't until I discovered Bikram Yoga that my love affair really began. Now, I try to do heated Vinyasa Flow 2-3x a week before work. While I'd love to go everyday, I find that my muscles need a break, and my body needs that extra hour of sleep at least a couple times a week. 

What I love about yoga is that when I am in that room, with the heat and humidity and the other practicers and our united breaths, all I have space for in my mind is the present. There isn't room to think about the stresses of my day, or my work agenda, or my grocery list, there is only me, and my muscles, and my breath. 

I have a tendency to over-stress and over-think about everything. My therapist and I talk about this often - my tendency to take anything that doesn't go perfectly as failure, and then to blame myself for being "bad" or "wrong." I parent slightly differently, or someone has a different opinion than me? I stress over it, and relive it for weeks, wondering what is wrong with me, and am I doing what is best for my child - even though deep down, I know that I am.

In yoga however, I have embraced that it is called a yoga practice. If I can't get into a pose, or fall out, or have to come out early, I don't stress. I don't judge myself on what other people think. I accept that I am tight some mornings and have to make modifications. I don't spend my day agonizing that I fell over backward when doing supported headstand, and instead, am impressed I got up there for even a second at all.

Nick and I agree that I am a better person when I do yoga more often. And I think it's because I take those principles of going with the flow, breathing, and allowing myself to not be perfect out of the studio and into my life.

As they say, practice makes perfect.... but for now, I'll work on being content with being imperfect.